The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
