Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
