this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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