yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
