just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
