dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
