I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
In other news, I just burned my penis
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
