I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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