he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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