no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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