haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
