Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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