I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
