I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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