Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
the raccoons are back...
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