in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Terrible idea I love it
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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