so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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