Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
