So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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