census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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