wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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