Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
