Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
