addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
