I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
