I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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