I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
