He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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