The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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