So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize