no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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