okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
