I just saw a hot homeless man
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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