K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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