wanna go halves on a baby?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
