9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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