Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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