Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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