Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
