i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
