Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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