i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
