Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
