When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
