Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize