is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
