this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my shit smells like andre
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
