the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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