So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
