3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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