i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All the doctor said was why
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
