Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
