drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
