your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
