Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
A bitchslap is in order.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
