They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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