hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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