i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
