She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
