airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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