i permit you to call me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
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She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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