Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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